The only way I can say hello, is to say, goodbye. To renounce everything, and live for the end, is the only way to begin. Cause it cuts like a knife! They cut... and they cut? and they cut? Just let the wounds bleed, and fully open, and take you; away. I've waited so long to finally meet you. To overcome my demons. They were vicious and tried to keep me from you; *GOD* *Oh GOD*, they did not prevail, but you did. THANK YOU! and now I let it all drift away, float away, an everlasting goodbye worth a thousand words to infinity. I will meet you on the other side.
missing you, - every second, - of every moment, - I can't help it. thinking about you, - every moment, - in every second, - I own it, - I can't control it. you've engrossed me. leaving me, - enchanted. leaving me, - captivated. I've never seen beauty like you and I don't know what to do? - I CAN'T - I CAN'T - I CAN'T, , and I pant. , - but I want' to give you everything. , - be your everything,... ...but I can't... I'm filled with the longing to see you again and I can not wait, but I do. To see you again means everything to me, so I will do better, that I can do. But seeing too much of you and I might faint. Too much of you and I feel my heart might explode, I can't tolerate too much of you, when my heart feels that it is going to pound out of my chest or I am going to have a heart attack when I am thinking about you before falling asleep, and sometimes waking up with my heart pounding out of my chest because I fell into a trance that you were there with me, and I have to catch my breath and breathe slowly and calm my heart beat down, that is, LOVE! - I CAN'T - I CAN'T - I CAN'T, , and I pant.
You Collect People You're More Insane Than I Am I Don't Know What That Means, But It's True. I Was Just A Number In A Part Of Your Sick Collection, I Never Meant Anything To You, And Now I've Been Discarded. Mind Bending: You Make People Desire You You Feed Off Of Our Desires For You You Manipulate Me, And Left Me More Broken Then Ever Before. You Own A Circus Full Of Freaks, But You're The Real Freak Show, {...and that makes me want you soo bad...} I Can't Believe I Didn't See It That I Let You Over Power Me That I Opened Up To You, And Tried To Let You In, But You'll Never See The Real Me, As I'll Never See The Real You. And This Is Just A Part Of Thee Illusion That I See Naked Under The Skin Behind The Mask Flabbergasted: But No More Alas, I See What You Are, But Still Don't Know What You Are? Baffled: You Are Beauty!, But You Made My Heart And Mind Feel HORROR, And Have Left My Soul DEVASTATED. You SHATTERED Me and Left Me Without A Broom-, I Can Only Hope That My Love Blogs Put Me At The Top Of Your Twisted Collection, But You Have Now Lost This Piece, You Will Never Own Me Again, And No One Will Ever Know What I Am Talking About. Boggled: These Segmented Fragmentations Are More Truth Than I Will Ever Know About You; TOUCHE: We Are Both Alike In That way These Separated Statements Are More Real Than You, Because You Will Never Let Any Body Know What You really Are, And That Is Sad, And You Will Not Let Me Know? And I Am Running Like The Wind Far Away. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
This is it. The deadly storm has ended, but the next storm maybe worse? Where there seemingly been no end in site, a horror has come to a close, the damage of certain horrors might never shed light, but what awaits is, UNCERTAIN?
I now train my self for death. Or Life?
But I know one thing for certain-I WILL NEVER BREAK AGAIN
I will await my departure from physical realm to the destination of, *Spirit World*.
Everyday could be the last.
I will be training my self physically, causing my self PAIN. And I will beat all the things that I need to let go of out of me till they no longer EXIST. I will utilize musical mind programming to make my determined mind UNBREAKABLE.
So Train Your Self, to be the person you want/need to be!
"Devotion" I Lost You. My Angel. My Everything. But I Hold You. In My Broken Heart. In My Shattered Soul. My Love For You Puts Me Back Together. You Are My Everything. When I Was Nothing. When I Was So Close To Death. You Resurrected Me. And I Thank YOU. And Owe You Everything. and; My Devotion is for you; ALONE My devotion, at night I Pray For YOU Drowning Devotion. I Drown In My Devotion For YOU Drowning Devotion I Will Drown For YOU Devotion Devotion You Are My Ocean and I Swim In YOU. My ETERNAL OCEAN
GOD's got me thinking so deeply about devotion today? This is so tough to get to this place, and to not have devotion in your life is HARSH To not feel passionately about anyone or anything, devotion is eternal, to break all tides with the superficial reality, that you see so many lost souls in so much pain because they give them selves away so easily, and connection becomes so meaningless, and so temporary, it is heart-breaking, I've been feeling that the reason I can not connect with people is because it is not spiritual, eternal, I can not comprehend temporary love? It makes no sense to me, to really have a friendship, that person will be in your heart and soul forever, and bonding takes time to grow.
I had a special experience recently of the most beautiful person in the world to me, somehow, her beauty taught me a lesson in, 'devotion to GOD', because I ended up feeling I been neglecting GOD and praying for and thinking about her so much, and I thought, "man, I need to put this much devotion and energy into connecting with GOD", I couldn't believe what was happening, that the beauty of a woman taught me about devotion to GOD, that I need to stay aware and keep embracing GOD's beauty and grace, and this is the proof of a human beings grace and beauty, we must believe in each other and not give up on humanity, because the most special person to me has touched my heart and soul so deeply, she will never know how much she has impacted me. And I am trying so hard to be as close to GOD as possible, but I am so broken.
I know I need to stop being so emotional, but it is difficult.
