horny as HELL

I'm not doing anything about it,
I don't do that,
I did have a problem with masturbation,
but I've been doing really good with that,
given that up,
made it almost four months without breaking,
then a recent break,
but no sex,
I don't do that meaningless stuff,
I see that destroy people,
and guilt,
and,
shame,
I really just desire soul mate love,
so when I get like this,
could be the weather change,

physiological,
biological,
being at that age,
where people fall in love,
get married,
have kids,
could be that,
DEFINITELY,
but also,
anxiety,
stress,
pressure,
mania,
repression,
never got to,
hormones,
pain and struggle of LIFE,
depression,
morbidity,
psychosis,
and I just wait out the horniness,
just like I wait out the loneliness,
and try to let it pass.
It will pass,
right?

I'm struggling with this so bad,
and it's the bottomless black hole pit of a void called;
"LACK OF LOVE",
I never had love!

And I fight with everything I've got,
and am so close to GOD when i don't feel these feelings,
but it's so difficult to not have these urges,
and like a tsunamic wave, 
you just have to,
LET IT PASS!

Oh well,
I think it is passing,
because I blogged about it,
blogging is therapy for me.