I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?(I'M LOST)

I feel so lost?????
So much pressure that I can't get what I need$$$$$$$
cause I need camera, music studio, computer, video editing software.
You know, all creative things,
I'd love to paint,
open up the windows, go crazy on some canvas,
like a form of faithful meditation?

I'm ready to commit the rest of my life to life documentary?
(someone just said to me that they are sadistic, and sarcastic, and I thought how poetic that is, you are a sarcastic sadistic, a double edged sword.)with a respect that, I choose to follow GOD and a life of faith, but I am not going to judge or persecute a way that another fellow human chooses to be sadistic, but I plan on destroying hell one day, so it won't really matter.

I'm really thinking of taking this commitment of documenting the rest of my life, even with this crummy camera.
(I can't believe someone just tried to ask me if I smoke marijuana, like I'm going to be tempted, like we're going to meet up, get high, have meaningless sex, or something, over my dead body)
NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

sometime's i feel like shouting at people STOP GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS(or involved), THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER, i see this everywhere i go.

It is bold to go back for round two of documenting my life, of course not ever breaking anyone's confidentiality, I always vlogged as a loner.
But to commit to documenting the rest of my life, NO MATTER WHAT!

I started to write this feeling so lost, and sad, but then I felt a wave come over me from GOD knowing that it is time for me to get back to life documentary, which is such a relief, because I have been battling with my creative self, staying the course of following my intuition.

I am totally Lady Gaga Inspired this week