ADRENALINE: ACCESS-VR + LETTING GO

In the morning, while I was getting ready to head out to the bus stop to head to ACCESS-VR, I seen on the sideline of YouTube, the music video from the band BUSH, song, ADRENALIN, to the movie CRANK, and I listened to it while I was getting ready, over, and over again, for about an hour and a half, and it set me off with the motivation of pushing this thing to the limit, going all the way, succeeding, becoming a millionaire, and saving my moms life. So I went a little buck-wild today on the journey to ACCESS-VR, which was a lot of fun, but terrible weather. So check out my vid if you'd like, and then we'll talk some more.

It was cold, and wet, and gloomy, and miserable outside, and I got really down and depressed all of a sudden, and was so exhausted out of the clear blue sky, but I got home and ate a nice MAN meal, and was hit with a second shockwave of adrenalin, enough to push through to the last part of the video, and now I have to unwind and get ready for sleep. I can't wait for therapy tomorrow. I'm really, calm, cool, and collective at the moment.

(I was looking up a photo about staying focused, and I saw this)

When I got home my mom wasn't feeling to good. And I'm stressed out of my mind at the pressure of time, that my mom can end up having another stroke. :(.......
WILL I BE ABLE TO SAVE MY MOM IN TIME??????

THIS IS WHY I NEED ADRENALIN AND MANIA
This is why this movie is inspiring to me,
because life is set out to kill you and the one's you love,
it's the fight of your life,
and it is going to take everything you've got.

 

I had some Freudian slip moments during this journey. Even with 'The Bible' and the '40 Day Journey With Jesus' magazine in my back-pack, trying to live with a really pure mind, but it is very difficult. Especially when you have always been alone, never had a girlfriend, and never been loved, I just end up praying all day and day dreaming about soul mate love, and I guess it's really distracting? :(
(I'm Human!)

But I believe tomorrow I will be, 'WARRIOR STRONG' to let all of these foolish desires go.

I have to face the fact that I am alone.
And that there must be only one woman on this planet,
that we'd be meant to be together,
and I have to be on the right line of KARMA

I've always heard of these stories of people finding true love on their journey to succeed and they built an amazing life together, and got married, and had beautiful children, and everlasting LOVE :(

So tomorrow I will let this all go.

I'M STRONG ENOUGH TO WALK ALONE :(