(day 4)10 DAY PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION FOR SCHOOLING: MENTAL ILLNESS RECOVERY(Soul-Mate=So-Close?)

I end up feeling like I need to apologize. 
I know I've done nothing wrong,
I just went completely cold and numb in my heart in the passed couple days because I know that I can not hold on any longer, but it seems I do not have a choice. I was just really sad and torn that I can't be with someone, and having to face the painful reality that it is probably not meant to be.

So the passed two days was really tough, I just wished I could've done something, or been a part of in some way?
But I am a 'free spirit'
A 'live and let live' soul
And it is not right to harbor feelings for someone that doesn't feel mutual
And it is not right in my own realm to not be mutually loved
Even though there is no way it could be
Anyway
And even though true love takes time to blossom
Everything could be said that it would be going exactly how soul mate love would formulate anyway
Where two souls dance for a while
And two souls entwine together
?
Praying For The Day We Meet(*Soul-Mates*)?

So I am advancing on certain things?
And I hate myself for being so stuck on this,
this fixation,
and desire,
of true soul mate love,
I've waited my entire life,
while people just give themselves away so meaninglessly,
staying so reserved as I have been,
leaving LOVE in GODS hands,
saying recently,
"TEACH ME TRUE LOVE GOD, PLEASE".

I need to be STRONG
And let this go
But keep it ALIVE

And now college and schooling is blossoming
The possibilities are ENDLESS?

So I say sorry to anyone and everyone for the level of detachment - I had to fully unplug - to focus - I have the weight of hell on my back - if you know what I mean?

So, I write about love and heartbreak a lot,
it seems to always weigh heavy on my SOUL

onto day FIVE