(day 8)10 DAY PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION FOR SCHOOLING: MENTAL ILLNESS RECOVERY(Infinite Sadness)

PSYCHIC?: I always felt that I am one of the most powerful psychics on Earth? A "PSYCHIC FREAK"=YES But all psychics are psychic in different ways, and it is my theorized hypothesis that connection to GOD relies on how potent and powerful your 'extrasensory perception' is. And mine is based mainly on how many 'death experiences' I've went through. And also since a child, I would talk to some energy, talking to my self as a child, not even knowing the concept of GOD, I would talk to something in the sky, and realizing that if we talk about atheism, a weird thought that I had yesterday is that this feeling that I always had was like this oceanic energy raining down on me, drowning me in overwhelming undeniability? That if you don't have this 'extrasensory perception', you would not feel/sense GOD at all, which would equal being atheistic?
Cause how can you believe in what you can not feel or sense at all, would explain a lot, would make sense of, why not?
Ever since a child, laying in bed at night, alone from the world, talking to the sky?

But now is the time to see if my psychic abilities can keep me safe, because, this land is filled with monsters. And demons. And evil's Galore!(oh my)(not funny=true)(are you evil scum?)(is that what you really wish to be?)

It gives a feeling of; "why even bother?" "seems hopeless?", but alas, there is hope

I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE: people just don't seem to get this one, because a couple times right after I declared this people came at me like, "Awe, you don't have/need to be alone. I'll be with you."=LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR ANYTHING I JUST SAID??????? This happened to me in some group settings where I spoke about this and then immediately afterwards someone comes up to me trying to interfere, intrude, or give me their phone number, or ask me to "hang out", like they feel bad for me or something, like I am not alone by choice, like I couldn't have someone in my life if I chose to, this is more on the lines of, -THIS IS MY REALITY-, -THIS IS THE WAY THAT I AM PROGRAMMED AND FUNCTION, SO PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE-.

LETTING GO:, and diving into the realms of bitter heartbreak, I find my self, clasp, to my cold steel heart, frozen in time, numb from the cold, facing the harsh truth that I could never be with her, this quivering pain of constant chill down my spine, trembling, shaking away all feelings of hope ascending into acceptance. 

I feel letting go is the right thing to do. And it is the hardest thing to do. That's why this is so extreme. I wanted to give this person all of my love and devotion. But the right thing to do if that person you have fallen in love with doesn't love you. You have to do the right thing and let go. And this is the only way I know how to deal with it. And it seems, every time I believe I let go, I'm unable to. :( And it hurts.

INFINITE SADNESS: That devil, killed an angel(*CHRISTINA GRIMMIE*), set my soul ablaze, I'm preparing for war, against evil. I want to hurt evil so bad. This happened on the morning of my moms birthday. I've been crying ever since. This is why I don't want anything to do with people, in this 'GODFORSAKEN' world, people have become kryptonite to me, meaning, I am so traumatized, wounded, like a wounded puppy that cringes and shrieks when approached by a human. The puppy can not get over that a human being hurt that puppy, that means that it is more than likely that it is just a matter of time before another human comes around to do the same thing, HURT YOU. It's simple logic, that someone is going to do something to try and hurt you, so I don't want anyone near me, because it has happened way to much since a child, I am forever wounded. 

3 more days left and then I can collapse into a bed of sadness for 2 days and pray so hard that something changes?