FANTASY LAND

The Story Line: Is That I Will Find LOVE
And We Will Make Each Other Laugh Hysterically
We Will Be Perfect For Each Other
And Be Meant To Be
No More Being Treated Like Dirt
Ever
I Am Taking Control Of My LIFE

I'M MANIFESTING!
HARD!
You don't want anything to do with me
FINE!

It's time to move on
AGAIN
False LOVE has come knocking on my door
NOooooooo!
I have come knocking on the door of false LOVE
What is wrong with me?
It hardens you
Further in to a dissociated you
More EXTREME
More RADICAL

My life has always been like a FANTASY LAND
And I figure,
Why can't it not be AGAIN?

I am going to find that one special woman,
that's weird like me!
That's a freak like me!
"Find that person that can make each other laugh hysterical",
they say.
I am never, ever, ever, subjecting my self to be treated that I am not good enough or worthy, ever, ever, AGAIN.
I'm going after IT ALL!

I have so much to offer, nobody has any idea.
And this door does not open TWICE
If you want a mediocre life, then have it, its all yours.
And I know what's happened here?
Is that this was all just one HUGE delusion on my part, sad to say.
Just an insane schizophrenic I guess,
To think this person actually cared about me,
What was I thinking?

And the sad truth is,
Some women just really hate men,
And this is what this world has come too.
And I don't blame'em,
look at history,
this mans world of abuse, and control,
and aggression,
and slavery over women.
I resent men too.
I resent being a man sometimes.
(i have my reasons, stemming from family, and the history of the world, and today)

Now let's move on to the FANTASY LAND we are going to build, shall we.

1st Step: Become Rich/Famous Millionaire

Laughter is the best medicine: And I will find that one special woman on this planet that we make each other laugh HYSTERICALLY
No more being treated like dirt that I am just not even worthy to even be cared about?

I am going to accomplish EVERY DREAM
A life of ADVENTURE
And make sure she has all her WILDEST DREAMS come true
I am taking control of my LIFE
I WANT IT ALL
"thank you for the pain, it made me raise my game" ~ Jessie J
I am going to be a, 'CONQUEROR!'

I just really can't have a person in my life that I care about.
I must really have a lot of work to do on my self.
I do really feel mistreated.
All I did was try to show someone that I care.
And it backfired.
And i lost this person from my life.
And it hurt like HELL.
NO MORE!
NEVER AGAIN!
No more lack of self-respect
No more being treated unworthy
Cause if someone cared
None of these human barriers would stand in the way
They would at least show that they care about you
Not really hurt your feelings
It felt so sad
This harsh reality
That this person really never cared at all
But I cared way too much about this person
To be torn to shreds 

And when I find that one special woman that is more special than any woman in the Universe=We will celebrate SUCCESS together, for the whole world to see our LOVE

No more playing games with life.
I will focus entirely on moving forward.
And I will keep my eyes and ears peeled for that special woman that can make me laugh hysterically.And we will become rich and famous millionaires together.
And hold this world hostage as our oyster.
And travel the world.
And conquer our wildest dreams together.
And run wild and free.
Pure/True liberated human beings.
Built our own FANTASY LAND

That really is a KEY to LOVE
That they say
Find that one special person that makes you laugh so hard it hurts
And never let that person go
So I realize
I have not found that person
But one day I will
I trust GOD knows how bad I want LOVE more than ANYTHING
You couldn't've handled my LOVE anyway
But someone one day will be so special to me and walk thru that door
And who knows
Maybe you did care
But was too much of a puss to show me a morsel of a crumb that you care about me at all?
And now it's over

I know how INSANE all this is
That's the POINT

I plan on being LIBERATED in four days on the Fourth Of July
No more ever letting anybody treat me bad.
100% Lone-Wolf
Looking for his GODDESS 

What if?
it's more about LAUGHTER than LOVE
but LAUGHTER becomes true LOVE?
(find that person that you both make each other laugh like CRAZY and you both found, 'The One'.)

I guess I just really feel HURT
but I'm so much STRONGER
than ever before
so it doesn't hurt so BAD?
it just drives me to do better 
?
So what that I am ALONE :(
For now?
I am MANIFESTING
My own FANTASY LAND
with GOD
A LONELY BOY
Looking for his PRINCESS 
To make her a QUEEN

And in the END
I will have it ALL
This has just hurt so bad I don't even know what to do with my pain anymore, except, write. And all's I wanted was this person in my life, and somehow I ruined that, but maybe I guess I need to see the truth that this person just doesn't care anyway.
This has just fueled the fire of determination.
No more sorries.
No more feeling that I did something wrong.
To treat me like I'm some creep or something, really hurt.
BLUR
(I want it all - And I will have it all - This is what happens to some people when the world only shows them PAIN)

LET THE FUN BEGIN!