BLURZ REBORN: BLOG UNTIL IT'S NUMB

This blog is mainly a therapy,
it's not that I actually expect anyone to read this,
but maybe in the future,
so it doesn't matter what I say,
this is to help get through this.

I don't know what happened,
everything was perfect,
I was secretly in love,
and I loved having this person in my life,
just a little sprinkle,
every week,
and then all of a sudden,
it all fell apart,
and I don't understand why,
it's like this person wants absolutely nothing to do with me,
and it totally shattered my heart.

I'm so broken right now.

But I want to succeed more than anything.

I feel so reborn.

I do not feel filled with foolish desires anymore,
they're just; GONE(poof)?

But I still have to get through this pain,
and I can't figure out if running away is the answer,
a part of me wants to hold on by a thread,
I will lose all my friends,
but maybe lower the dose of therapy even farther,
to just one day a week,
cause I don't feel I can bare it any longer.

This helps
Writing

That it's ok to be really sad
That I am not really alone
Someone out there hears my battle cries
And I'm sure they battle too

I just took some GABA and chamomile
That is how innocent my life has gotten

But I did curse because of financial woes,
and then I said sorry as the Jesus picture reigns down on my soul;
"sorry for being angry".

I'm just tired, and now our car is breaking down, and it seems we are always low on (clean)spring(drinking)water. Crazy, I know, some countries don't have any clean drinking water, this human existence just makes you want to DIE