BLURZ REBORN: going CRAZY?(and loving it)

So I got'ta go completely insane now, because sanity is just not working for me. And it feels GOOD!

The quote, that I'm working with, is the feeling that; "I'm not INSANE enough?" - "How INSANE does a person have to be to succeed in this world?" - If I was more insane, I'd be more disciplined, i'd really go after what I want. I'd be bold enough to capitalize on success becoming a rich famous millionaire. So I need to become more INSANE, because, "I believe in INSANITY!", insanity is what advances our species?

I don't know if I can love this person anymore. It's not right. This person doesn't love me, so it just ends up hurting me, and taking my confidence and my strength. The crazy truth is that I probably need someone completely PSYCHO? My soul mate would most likely be COMPLETELY INSANE. And I should be looking forward to that. Who knows, she might even want to join me in going to hell to defeat Lucifer?

It sucks to have to walk away with someone I really fell in love with, the reality that this person could never love me, I mean, what do you do? You have to walk away, right?

It wouldn't even be good for this person to love me, anyway. I mean, I know what I am; I am broken. I am insane. I am hopeless. I am damned. I am incompatible. Beyond Complicated! A complete and utter gamble of a wild card, I mean, it would only have to be soul mate love or any type of love wouldn't even work out. I feel it is time to lay this pain to rest, and take back my DIGNITY.

Being a LONE-WOLF is important on this MISSION

So now I am EMBRACING insanity to the fullest, and let me tell you, 'IT FEELS AMAZING!' - You should try it @#$%^&*?=You don't know what you are missing. I can show you a reality that you couldn't even possibly fathom in your most intented fantasy world, as soon as my destiny opens up, maybe the opening will still be available, but right now i need to get hypnotized into becoming *rich/famous/millionaire* is the next step ;) You should give insanity a try, you might like it? Or maybe you are secretly INSANE?(I wish :( ) I could make you a QUEEN if you open your mind?????

This is what happens when you've been fighting with absolutely everything you've got, for over 15 years to get your life back, to get ahead in life, fighting pathetically without even being able to get a crumb of the pie, fighting for your mothers life, and this world just absolutely will not allow you to have a single piece of the pie?

I'm focused on succeeding, and that's a good thing.
But I am going to have to go CRAZY to breach higher levels.
Do you understand this?
That i am not CRAZY enough.
I am 100% harmless, you know that.
I don't have those violent tendencies inside of me.
I just want to be happy, but what drives me nuts is this HORROR filled world.
And I don't want to be afraid so i am HORROR fueled.
HORROR is etched into my soul.
Forced upon me!

OH WELL let it drive me completely insane
THAT'S what i like

WHY NOT???????is the question
This could be *US* but'chu PLAYIN? :D
(deep down you know you are a *QUEEN* a *GODDESS* I see it in you)
I won't be buying my soul mate a ring(well, yes of course I will), but I will be buying her a CROWN - with, diamonds/jewels/and/rare gems!